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Dear Alma,

I come to you as humbly as I know how, because I’m really at an interesting professional intersection. I currently work at a summer camp teaching kids how to cook and my co-teacher is tawdry. We will call this person “Calvin.” So, Calvin has been cooking for a while and has a lot of life experiences that add life and joy to our program. If something goes wrong, Calvin is normally the first to help find a solution to keep the integrity of the lesson going. My biggest issue with Calvin is that he is the “King of Change.” I feel like he’s changing things, just to be included. If we are doing an experiment and we hand the worksheets out first then go outside, Calvin will suggest we go outside first, then hand out the worksheets. It almost feels intentional. Just this week, we were making waffles and we had the students measuring the ingredients. After lunch Calvin starts pouring unmeasured ingredients in the bowl. I told him I wanted the kids to do that, so they get the chance to be included in the lesson. He said, “Oh, well we can have them do the cinnamon.” Then he asked me if he could lead the lesson. Now, this wouldn’t normally be a problem, but he had already led the majority of lessons during this camp. He was already in my face and the students are in the classroom, so there wasn’t really a chance to resolve the issue without it turning into something else, so, I decided to take break and come back at the end of the group’s class period. With every person you meet, Calvin tries to figure out if they know someone there and it feels disingenuous. Sometimes, Calvin talks loud on his cell phone during class lessons, and comes to work with a bonnet on his head; sometimes he’ll leave a roller in his hair for part of the day. Calvin just turned 50.

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