ARMEN GILLIAM

:10—Listen…To…Me…When I tell you I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life, I mean never, never, never ever. And I’ve seen them all. Moms Mabley, Richard Pryor, Andrew Dice Clay, Eddie Murphy, Bill (I didn’t do it!) Cosby and Chris Rock. Ladies and gents, John Witherspoon is the funniest man alive. I’m talking 90 minutes of in your face, raw, no-holds-barred stuff. Bang Bang Bang! Do not miss him the next time he comes to town.

:09—Here’s the thing about having a lot of money. It can get you whatever you want, but it can also get you stuff you don’t want. Like unwanted attention. EV-ER-Y-BOD-Y on this side of right and wrong knows Venus Williams did nothing wrong except be in the wrong place at the wrong time. After reviewing the tapes, it’s clear she was not at fault, but you know once her name and fame was known, someone was going to try and get paid!

:08—As amazed as you are with the Pirates lighting up the scoreboard Sunday against the Cubs (14-3 win on July 9), or for that matter over their 5-2 winning road trip, go back to what ole Uncle Bill told ya at the start of the season. The bats are not the problem. Was not then and is not now. The name of the game in baseball is pitching and if you can’t shut the opposition down, you lose. It really is that simple. We need shut down pitchin’ to go with these bats.

:07—Speaking of Name of the Game, and I just was if you were paying attention, remember the good ole days, and they really were because we had a bunch of quality spots to go to and they were trouble-free. Let’s take a walk…“Name of the Game,” “Crazy Quilt,” “The Pyramid,” “Heaven” (Black Heaven & White Heaven), “2001,” “Stanley’s,” “Ramsey’s II,” “Judy’s Banquet Hall,” and of course “Too Sweet’s.” Man-o-Man, those were the days.

:06—Now I am going to give you this list one more time. I got harassed at a cookout over the Fourth of July holiday so here we go again…and maybe for the last time. Here are the Top 10 greatest dunkers in City League/summertime basketball (of course from my eyes only.) No. 1, Nathan “Sonny” Lewis. No. 2, Myron Brown. No. 3, Morrie “Skylab” Cox. No.4, Steve Snyder. No. 5, John Farley. No. 6, Darrin “Skywalker” Walls. No. 7, Robert “Jeep” Kelly. No. 8, Dougie Johnson. No. 9, Darrin Pondexter. No. 10, Will Herndon. Talk to me!!! 412-628-4856.

:05—In two weeks, the real party starts. Your Pittsburgh Steelers go to camp and with the best two receivers in football.

:04—Not a lot of noise here, “Just Do It!” Pull out or pull up Issac Hayes’ Shaft, but not Shaft. Listen to “Soulsville.” Oh my goodness, wait and see how good it makes you feel. Matter of fact, you probably feel it now.

:03—Here’s what “Big Ed” out in Wilkinsburg told me, so you know it’s true. Next year, LeBron is gone. And gone means the Lakers. How does Ed know this to be true? Because Ed said LeBron’s wife said… “We out!”

:02—I know many of you are ready to trade in your Pitt season basketball tickets. Let’s hold on just a minute. The program has managed to recruit some decent players in the midnight hour. Let’s wait and see what happens given that everybody but Ryan Luther left, they have nowhere to go but up!

:01—Pictured in this column is one of Pittsburgh’s greatest of all-time. The late, great Armen “The Hammer” Gilliam. One of the NBA’s all-time great power forwards. What you need to know is his basketball camp is coming August 5 and 6 at the Penn Hills YMCA, for boys and girls ages 8-16. Includes lunch, T-shirt, supervision, games, and lots of “hard work.” Sign up today. Space is limited. Call Achieving Greatness at 412-628-4856.

:00—A shoutout to my new best friends Nazzera, Teneia, and Knyondra!!! Ladies, loved almost having lunch with you and enjoyed the conversation. You are now officially “In the Locker Room!” Hey girl, be safe in Carolina!

~ GAME OVER ~

 

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