One of your recent columns, reminded me of my situation, so, I decided to contact you. I am a military wife and I love my husband. We’ve been happily married for three years. He takes good care of us and is strict with our budget. He makes sure everything is covered and written down and by the 3rd of the month all of our bills are paid. He deployed eight months ago, and of course before he left, he gave me strict instructions to follow regarding our money and the budget, which I have tried to stick with. Since, I have a job and I contribute to our household and I have money left over, as well, I decided to buy a new car. When my husband and I spoke on FaceTime and talked about buying a new car, he was totally against it and thought our old car was good enough. I totally disagreed, so I bought a new car anyway and I love it. He’ll be home next month and I don’t know what to do. How do I tell him, we have a new car?
New Car, Old Husband
Dear New Car,
Girl, you better be glad that I can’t revoke your driver’s license or demand that you pick up trash along the side the road. Umm, this situation is nowhere near last week’s question. You ain’t got nobody sleeping on the couch, so don’t try it.
Oh no, don’t move over, I don’t need space, because this right here doesn’t sit well with me at all. When a person is buying a house, what’s most important? Location, location, location. When a person is married, what’s most important? Communication, communication, communication. You’ve got to communicate, before you make a move, especially when it comes to a big purchase. And we ain’t talking about buying a set of pillows, brand new dishes or a set of bath towels. You purchased a car against your husband’s wishes and now you wanna know how to tell him? Well, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that once you pull up to pick him up, LOL. That’s when your selfish shenanigans will come to light.
It seems to me you can do one of two things. Take it back or display your decision on paper. Your husband sounds like a serious budget man and I ain’t mad at him. Show him the money and where you can save from here and there to cover your monthly payments and insurance coverage. That’s all he wants to see. I know you gotta job and you got extra money, which is what you’re trying to use to justify your behavior, but, uh huh, nah, that won’t cut it. When it comes to money, your husband must be able to trust you. You and your ego have broken that bond.
Unless you bought the Porsche that he’s always dreamed about, it will take a long time for the two of you to recover from this. You might as well try to fit your bottom in a “forgive me please” baby seat, snap that seat belt on and hold on, because you’re in for a bumpy ride!
Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: email@example.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.