(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn: Last July, my boyfriend became my fiancé. We went to a family gathering and when he drove me home, he got down on his knees and proposed. I was too happy. It was a dream come true. We have dated for six years. I am now 26 and thought he would never ask the question, “Will you marry me?”


When my family and lady friends heard the news, they were all happy for me, including his male friends. Late that night before going to bed, my grandmother said she wanted to have a talk with me. She told me to set the wedding date one year from now giving me time to rid my life of single women friends. Grandma further explained. She said, “No married woman should have single women sitting around. They will take your man.”

Gwendolyn, is that true?—Ruthie

Dear Ruthie: No, not true. Your grandmother’s thinking is obsolete. I once told a lady I was interested in joining their social club. She immediately talked harsh to me by saying, “Oh, you can’t join.” When I inquired as to why, she said, “We have a rule. No single women.”

Let me tell you this: I have had men to sit on my couch with tears running down their face complaining of their “running around” wife.

Ruthie, keep your good single female friends. They are a blessing to have. Often a friend becomes closer than a sister. To get rid of your single female friends for fear of losing your man makes no sense whatsoever. I was later told the woman who said I couldn’t join the club had divorced. She lost her husband to one of the ladies in the group. So, you see, it’s not the single women you have to watch—it’s the married ones.

(Got a problem, email Gwen at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or write to her at P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, NC 27605-0066. To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope. Visit her website at: http://www.gwenbaines.com.)

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