(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn:

Three years ago my son lost his job. I was dating an incredible man who left me when my son moved back home. I do believe he was getting ready to propose marriage to me. Well, the next year I met another incredible man, but when he discovered I had an adult son living with me, he showed no interested. Since then, I have met eight desirable men within the last 2 ½ years.


Gwendolyn, my son sits around the house watching television. What’s wrong with him? What can I do? This is keeping me from getting married. I can’t put him out. A mother cannot decide between a man (her future husband) and her son.—Annette

Dear Annette:

Yes, she can. The problem seems to be you have not given your son the basics for learning to survive. Your son is depressed and that can be understood. I would advise you to seek counseling for him, but if you choose counseling, remember the best counseling is a mother showing her love.

Let me tell you this: Men use the fear of a woman with children as an excuse not to build a relationship. When a man falls in love with a woman regardless of the number of children she has, he doesn’t leave. Your son is not the only person with a problem. You are too hung up on referring to every man as incredible. You don’t know their character. Stop getting yourself emotionally hurt. Coming on to a man too strong is a turn-off. You have not faced the real factor. Think about it. Those men didn’t leave because of your son they left because of you.

(Got a problem, email Gwen at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or write to her at P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066. To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.)

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