(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn: I am upset with my mother. This is the problem: My father left us 30+ years ago when he was a young man. My mother had to struggle with six children. She did not seek the usual welfare assistance. Mom worked two jobs all the timewhile we were growing up. All six of us made a success out of our lives. This, however, we know was due to our mother.
We are upset because dad left us and lived with a lady who had five children. It was obvious he provided for them nicely—not thinking of us at all. He returned last year sick. In fact, he is bedridden. He suffered a stroke and is paralyzed down the left side of his body. Mom is asking for us to come and help. Four of my siblings live out of state. My brother and I, are the only two who can help.
Gwendolyn, why did my mother take him back? Why?—Gloria
Dear Gloria: Only your mother can answer that. True love is a strange thing. It never dies. I do understand your concerns. Why should you and your brother be tied down with a man who left you?
Let me tell you this: Your situation is not an isolated case. Husbands leave wives, play around when all body parts are functioning. They walk without arthritis. Their vision is 20/20. Their hearing is good. They just got to roam.
Gloria, you need to convince your mother to call the other woman and her children to help with your dad. After all, she got more of his money and affection than your mother. Sounds not good, but love is blind and in this case it’s stupid. The responsibility of your father’s healthcare needs to be shifted. He may need to go into a nursing home facility. Too often the caregiver becomes ill because the task is too great.
Tell your mother to think back to all those nights she had to be alone—rainy, stormy nights when a husband is joy. Think about it. Wives need to stop allowing their husbands to vanish and return old, sick—and broke down.
(Got a problem? Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 or email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org.)