Dear Gwendolyn: I have been married for five years. We have seven children, two boys and five girls. We lived together for three years before marriage. When we met, my husband had big dreams. However, he put his dreams on hold to marry me. He didn’t want me to be an unwed mother. Every day of my marriage, I have wished to have never met him. He constantly mistreats me blaming me for causing him to abandon his dreams.


This is the problem: My husband wants to take flying lessons and start his own flight import-export business. He has assured me he will not get into the drug smuggling business. He says when people miss planes who must be at a designated place and time, they charter a private plane.—Jill

Dear Jill: Regardless whether your husband decides to take flying lessons or not, you should stop accepting his mistreatments. He chose to give up a dream because he didn’t want you to have the baby unmarried. Jill, what were you thinking? This is a new strange day indeed. Men are marrying men and women are marrying women. And because of his belief you find yourself unhappy as marriage has not been good.

I really don’t know what to tell you. I will say this: Sometimes is it better to listen to the words of your parents even when they are no longer with you. John Kennedy Jr. decided to take flying lessons because his mother was deceased. While she was alive, he did not want to worry her. This is a good example that children should never forget the advice and teachings left behind by their parents. Feeling free of his mother’s worry, he learned to fly a plane. But look at what happened to John John. Even from his mother’s grave, her fear proved true. Tell this story to your husband and hopefully, your advice he will take sound.

Let me tell you this: You had a choice to make. You could have remained single, loved your baby, and given yourself a wonderful life. Stop pouring out your sorrows of being married. No one is listening to unhappy married women these days other than T.V. Talk Shows making money—from their sorrows.

(Got a problem? Don’t solve it alone. Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 [to receive a reply send a self-addressed stamped envelope] or email her at: or visit her website at:

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