(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn: A year ago my son came in from school and asked me about a certain man (his name I will not give). Apparently my son’s father had seen him walking to the bus stop. He stopped his car and told my son he was his father. Later I found out my son was being picked up by his father. He had taken him to meet his other family—grandmother and all other cousins, etc. 


I was furious because when I informed his father years ago I was pregnant, he walked away—laughing and dropped a dime on the ground telling me, “That’s all you will ever get.” When I approached my son telling him to stay away from his father, he cursed me and pushed me to the floor. A week later when I came home from work, my son had packed his belongings and left. He has been living with his father’s parents for the past year. His cousins robbed a liquor store and were arrested. My son was arrested along with them but claims to be innocent. The family got a good lawyer and paid for the release of his cousins, but my son remains in jail. I don’t have the money and now his father is telling me that he wants nothing to do with my son.—Greeta

Dear Greeta: What are you talking about, your son? I thought his father had taken possession of your son to the point where he was considered “his” son. Girl, let me tell you this: I know you have the mother’s love and that is to care for your child whether he be good or bad. But think about it. Your son needs to have this horrible experience. A mother goes through too much to not be honored and respected always. Let him stay incarcerated long enough to appreciate having had a loving mother. Another thing Greeta, don’t continue to put all extra money on your son. The best lesson a mother can learn is not to become so engrossed in her children that she fails to have some happiness for herself.

(Do you have a son or grandson age 10-17? Help him to choose college not jail. Order DECISIONS In The Life Of A Growing Male Youth. Send $14.95 + $4 S/H to: Nevada Publishing Co., P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066. Got a problem, e-mail her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or write to her at address above [to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.])

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