(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn: I am convinced that trying to help people is not always a good thing. This is what happened: My brother’s girlfriend was out of work and I tried to help because she is considered ‘family.’ I made a wrong decision. I told her about an opening at my place of employment. She filled out the application and was hired. Shortly thereafter she started stabbing me in the back. Her work was poor and I felt bad about the entire ordeal. My supervisor told me she was going to terminate her if she didn’t improve. My supervisor asked that I not tell her of our conversation.

Well, that’s where I made my mistake. Because she is considered to be family, I told her what my supervisor had said. She went immediately and confronted my supervisor. I love my job and regret having her to work there. I have been on the job for 16 years and I know that with the status of the economy, I don’t need to quit. My brother and my mother are not speaking to me. They favor this false friend over their own kin. I am not that bothered about their attitude, but I am concerned about the strange behavior of my supervisor. What can I do?—Rose

Dear Rose: Let this be a lesson learned. You should not have told her what your supervisor had said. Also, another lesson learned is to be cautious how you try to assist someone in getting a job. I know that sounds harsh, but girl, there are some low down people in this world. They survive on the kindness of others.

At this juncture you are right to not concern yourself with the attitude of your brother and mother. Be nice to both of them, especially your mother. She apparently likes your brother’s girlfriend and felt she was gaining another daughter. My advice to you is to apologize to your supervisor—admitting you were wrong. Explain to her that you only tried to help your brother’s girlfriend because they considered her to be family. Well, let me tell you this: Family does not always come first and sometimes family does not rank second. Sometimes family members are so horrible, they don’t have—a rank at all.

(Nevada Publishing Co., P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066. Got a problem, e-mail her at: or write to her at address above [to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.])

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