(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn:

I was adopted by a wonderful couple. They have been ever so kind to me and my two siblings (who were also adopted). We are not a family of three adopted children who came from the same family—not at all. However, we have grown up to love and most appreciate our adopted parents. None of us knew that we were adopted until my sister found out and they then told us.


I am most bothered. My sister is trying to find her kin. A man stopped her on the street and told her that he was her biological father. He said, “You have a sister.” Since that day she has done nothing but become focused on trying to find her long lost kin. As for me and my other sister, we are fine not knowing where we came from. All we know is that some mother out there in the world gave us up. We are trying to tell my sister to leave it be. Are we wrong for doing so?—Gladys

Dear Gladys:

You are not wrong. However, to some people your actions are inappropriate. Many people truly believe that it is important to know your blood. It is important to know in case you ever need an organ transplant, your kin would possibly be a match. Also, to know your kin would eliminate the possibility of falling in love and marrying a lost sibling.

Last summer there was an incident where a young girl discovered she had a half-sister. They started chatting on line and the young girl made a visit to spend time with this sister. It was the wrong decision. Within a few weeks she was missing. According to neighbors, the sister she visited was of a totally different character—being heavily into drugs, prostitution and robbery. The visiting sister was scheduled to graduate from college within months. Sadly though, her body was found floating face down in the river. Because of situations as this, yes, sometimes it is better to—leave it be.

(Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 [to receive a reply send a self-addressed stamped envelope] or e-mail her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com.)

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