(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn:

I got married 12 years ago and have regretted it from day one. This is the problem: I married a woman with three children, two boys and one girl. I was in a car accident last year and was awarded $32,000 recently. My wife is on sick leave, but receives a disability check while recuperating. After paying off all her bills, buying new appliances for the house, buying a new computer, my wife still wants more. I told her that I have to keep some money for hard times and cannot just waste it on unnecessary items.


I have decided not to purchase another car because I have two trucks in good working condition. Her three children are now grown, not attending college and not working. She doesn’t seem to care. I am tired of paying all the bills. I am their stepfather and sacrificed when they were growing up. Her daughter only uses the computer to search for clothes and shoes. I told them they must contribute to the upkeep of the house. I don’t think I am wrong. I told them the “free ride” is over.—Jim

Dear Jim:

You told them exactly right. There is no free ride in this world—not if you intend to get ahead. Getting ahead with dead weight is hard and almost impossible. We as parents need to go back and take on the rules of those elderly people. Think about it. They knew how to raise good children. In my mother’s house the rule was “you go to school or to work.” No loafing around.

Jim, tell her you do not intend to provide for grown-ups who have no ambition to make a good life. Too many mothers let their children ruin a good marriage. After all, unless their daddy (or daddies) is dead, then he too should help provide for his children.

I commend you for not allowing your wife to waste every cent you have. Basic­ally, she needs to quickly go somewhere and sit down and be thankful for having a good husband.

(Got a problem, e-mail Gwendolyn at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or write to her at P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 (to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.)

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