(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn:

I am in the process of making preparations for my wedding in June. We have dated for six years. During those years I have caught him cheating on me at least 15 times or more.

This is the problem: We have never lived together, but he often spends nights with me. His main place to stay is at his mother’s house. He doesn’t have a job because he was laid off six years ago. I do not have children by him.


Gwendolyn, I caught him cheating on me just two months ago—six months after he proposed to me. I know that I should let him go, but I have decided to go ahead with the marriage. When men court while engaged or involved, they usually change when married. I look forward to happiness with him.—Louise

Dear Louise:

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I do think you should give great attention to the character of your fiancé. First of all, I find it difficult to believe he could not find a job within six years. Secondly, when a man lives with his mom too long, you don’t know his strength when it comes to being financially stable. None of this, however, even touches the problem of his “cheating”—a serious problem you seem to turn away from.

Louise, you made the statement that “when men court while engaged or involved, they usually change when married.” Let me tell you this: You are in for a rude awakening. Men who cheat before marriage do change once they become married—they get worse.

(Do you have a son or grandson age 10-17? Help him to choose college not jail. Order DECISIONS In The Life Of A Growing Male Youth. For ordering information write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 (to receive a reply send a self-addressed stamped envelope) or e-mail her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or visit her website at: http://www.gwenbaines.com.)

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