Dear Gwendolyn:

I am engaged to be married this fall. My parents are planning a big wedding with all the trimmings. My dress is costing close to $6,000 and the entire package is currently at a total of $30,000+. No, my parents don’t have that type of money, but they are going to refinance their home.

Gwendolyn, I feel they should be informed to stop the planning before any more money is spent. My reason for this decision is that my fiancé can be violent at times. While on vacation with him last summer, we got into an argument and he almost stomped me to death. I ended up in a hospital for two weeks. My parents were told (by him) that we had extended our vacation because we were enjoying ourselves and did not wish to return as planned.

After that incident, my feelings for him are not as strong. Because we had already announced our engagement, I let it be. What should I do? I really don’t want to marry this man.—Gladys

Dear Gladys:

Then don’t. Your fear for him has caused you to lose whatever love you once had. Let me tell you a story. In my dating years, there were two men who claimed to be in love with me. One later killed himself and the other killed his wife. Girl, we down here on earth are truly being watched over and protected. I was saved because I never wanted to marry a man I did not love. Just because a man loves a woman, the woman should go by her feelings and not by what the man is saying—or what other people tell her.

First of all, your parents are spending too much money on a wedding not to have money. I advise you to inform them today about your change of heart—and why. Think about it. He is not going to change and what was almost a fatality could turn real after you are married. I hope your fiancé does not go off the deep end when he is told. In talking with him about the breakup, be in the presence of others.

Gladys, I wish for you the best and hope that your life will be long and fruitful, but mainly that you get away from this violent man—-unharmed.

(To order the perfect book for working single women, go to: www.gwenbaines.com If you have a problem, write to her at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, NC 27605-0066 (to receive a reply send a stamped, self-addressed envelope.) or e-mail Gwen Baines  at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com.)