As therapists, self-help gurus and physicians alike encourage women to reduce anger and rage in their lives, area women flocked in droves to an event that asked them to consider embracing it for a few hours.

SISTER CIRCLE—From left: Poet Vanessa German, Master Drummer Kelly Parker and Laverne Baker-Hotep lead a dance session.

The Center for Victims of Violent Crime welcomed Ruth Smith, author of “Healing Rage—Women Making Inner Peace Possible,” to speak at Chatham College’s Athletic Center June 30. Smith’s discussion closed out the Center’s four-part series, “Black and Blue—Violence in the Lives of Black Women.”

Laverne Baker-Hotep, director of community education and outreach for CVVC, said they chose to focus on rage in part because of an increase in violent actions taken by women.

“One thing that I have been noticing is that I’ve been seeing, frequently, young women who have been seriously mentioning the amount of rage and violence that’s happening in the lives of young girls,” said Baker-Hotep.

“But what I’ve come to understand is that they’re carrying the anger of their grandmothers, their mother’s pain. They’re carrying ancestral pain.”

Smith tapped into the idea of ancestral pain, as well as more direct forms of pain that lead to rage in the lives of women, during the workshop. However, rather than telling women to reject their feelings of anger, she encouraged guests to confront them in order to heal.

“I think women and rage have a unique relationship. Men have socially acceptable forms of expression in our culture, whether (it’s) physical, like sports, or sexual, as in sexual aggression. Some of those things are kind of common and expected of men, so they have a physical way that they can release rage,” said Smith.

“Women, because we’re socialized to be nice and do the work and get over it, there’s no context for (rage) that we’re usually in. We don’t have forms of release. I think women need a certain space to become more acquainted with their rage and, usually, a space that allows them to be in some kind of physical contact.”

While Smith says her “Healing Rage” weekend retreats allow women to “have emotional release with beating things, breaking things, stomping and screaming,” contact between women at the CVVC workshop was limited to hand holding and embraces. Guests did, however, confront their rage by examining life patterns.

“The disguises of rage (look) at how we’ve kind of constructed our defenses. We all have pain that we’ve covered up somehow,” said Smith.

“There are six kind of rages that women keep these covers on—the dominance, the defiance, the distraction, devotion, dependence and depression. All of those things are better than being enraged and we learn how to cover up the rage early on.”

As guests separated into groups according to the disguise of rage that most closely fit their life patterns, a transformation began to take place. Former strangers opened up about the most intimate, and often most tragic, events of their lives that lead to them adopting disguises of rage. Bonds were formed as people discovered they weren’t alone in their reactions to stressful situations. Together, they discovered that it wasn’t their rage that was unnatural, but the suppression of the rage.    

Smith, whose self-published book will be released through Penguin Publishing Group in August, says she is encouraged by the progress of the women who attended the group, but also understands that the program isn’t for every woman.

“Women who are healing and really want to be well have a particular attachment to my work because it really allows them to befriend rage. They’re more ready for it,” said Smith.

“There’s a lot of women that are just not ready to take that step, and that’s okay. It’s not okay, but it doesn’t work any other way. You can’t make them get it—you can just provide a vehicle for awareness.”

(Learn more about the book at http://healingrage.com)