DEBBIE NORRELL

Who wants an obituary that reads “he/she worked hard all of their life, they never missed a day of work, they will be missed.”  Use those sick days, vacation days and personal days to recharge your batteries.  If you have a job that offers these benefits they are meant to be used.  I have actually met people who left their vacation days on the table—they did not use them.
Each year I am trying to figure out how I can get more paid vacation. I have the option to buy an extra week and if I could buy another week I would. I am just wrapping up a project that has been physically and emotionally draining and I need some time to recover. Fortunately, I have a job that understands when you need to take some time. We do not have to use our sick days just for being sick. We can “plan” a sick day, which is nice. No need to put on an act when you call in sick with a fake cough or sore throat.  I try to stay well throughout the year so I can use my days and not lose them.
Here are a few good ways to get your groove back. Watch a funny movie, I love to laugh, laughing always make me feel better. Take a power nap, dance to your favorite music.  Last week when Chris “Mac Daddy” Kelly died, a few stations were playing “Jump,” what a great song to get up and move to, Kelly was one half of the duo Kris Kross.  
If work has you tapped out, do something that refills your bucket. Remember when Julia Roberts makes Richard Gere take off his shoes and walk on the grass in Pretty Woman? The world looks different when you give yourself permission to escape from responsibility and reconnect with your happy self.  On especially tough days, get a reality check or soft shoulder by reaching out to a friend or trusted advisor for a pep talk. One thing that I did that did wonders for my self-esteem was looking through my scrap book and just reading a few letters from readers. Have a glass of wine, typically I don’t drink, but every now and then an adult beverage can do the body good, and can help put everything into perspective. Have a nice dinner and bottle of wine. Relax, and enjoy the moment. Your problems won’t go away, but it’ll be easier to reflect on the things in life that are worth working for.
Go for a brisk walk, or head straight to the gym for a spin class or the nearest yoga studio.  Give your mind a chance to drift, dream, and problem-solve. Go for a drive—we have had some beautiful weather—open the windows and take in nature. If that’s not enough, take a long weekend, and don’t bring your laptop. Or take a real vacation, and get a fresh perspective from a different time zone. The bottom line here is to recharge and revive.
(Email the columnist at deb­bie­ This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .)

(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn:

Four years ago, I met my fiancé at church.  He has proven to be the perfect man, but married.  I did not hesitate dating because he immediately explained the mental state of his wife. This is the problem: His wife is in a state that does not allow divorce when the spouse is not in sound mind.  I am hearing a lot of gossip.  Some church members say my fiancé would beat his wife.  They say he once beat her so badly she was hospitalized—and from that point she walked with a limp.

Gwendolyn, do you think she will ever be again of sound mind? How long should I hang in there for a chance to be his wife?—Gloria

Dear Gloria:

Let me tell you this: I will share a situation similar to yours.  I know of a lady who claimed to be just a casual friend to a churchman.  People knew they were courting but pretended due to the fact his wife was in a mental institution, they could not marry. This lady dated this married man for years. When his wife died while in the institution that left her husband available to marry.  But guess what?  He married another lady and they had a huge expensive wedding.  The nice lady who had dated him aged 20 years or more looking sad and downhearted.

I strongly advise not to wait hoping to be his wife.  Think about it.  He probably caused his wife’s mental condition.  So back to your question of how long you should hang in there, I say --two months. If you continue to date him, think about it.  His wife is not the only one—crazy.

(Got a problem?  Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O.Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 or email her at:  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . To receive a reply send a self-addressed stamped envelope.)

GRADUATES—Not in order: Lamar Davis, president; Johnetta Cross, vice president; Min. Nicita Moses, secretary and event co-chair; Kimberly Dorsey, event co-chair; Rev. Arthur Young, event co-chair; and graduates Rev. Jeremiah Thomas, Schshawanna Jones, Diane Bennett, Cheryl Bradbury, John Stankos and Karla Threadgill Byrd, executive director of CUBM.  (Photos by Rossano P. Stewart)

 The Center for Urban Biblical Ministry held its 25th Annual Scholarship Concert at East Minster Presbyterian Church, located at 250 Highland Ave. in East Liberty, to benefit new students’ financial aid for books and educational materials.

The concert was hosted by Bishop Loran Mann, pastor of Pentecostal Temple COGIC also in East Liberty. The concert presented by the class of 2013, was a highly spirited gospel fest featuring some of the finest talent in Pittsburgh.

The CUBM has partnered with Geneva College to provide an education specifically suited for students heeding Christ's call to proclaim and live the Gospel in their communities.

The concert was performed by Evangelist Barbara Mann & The Pentecostal COGIC Choir, Erica Day, David Bowens & The Group One Ministry, Katrina Haldren, Keisha Sheffie and Gospel recording artist James Ziegler, all of Pittsburgh. The goal of this event was to reach an offering of $1,500, which  was achieved by the end of the concert.

If I was a mother what would I want for Mother’s Day? Things that make you go hmmm.