:10 They say this is the pre-season dress rehearsal games for the regular season so I thought I would give you some blow by blow to get your Steeler engine revved up. Here’s your top 10 things:
No. 1 What size helmet did Edmund Nelson wear when he played? Man! Oops my bad. That’s not why we’re here is it? Edmund, I love you mmmaaannn!
No. 2 Coming to ya “Dead” at the stadium cause the stadium is dead. The boys better step it up or something bad is gonna happen! Don’t ask me where I am at. If I tell ya, I’d have to kill ya! But I am in my spot.
No. 3 Out the gate the offensive line better step it up. Everything starts with the “O-Line,” including the snap of the ball.
No. 4 We continue to “Dis” the offensive or the lack thereof. We…they better get what once was the best “D” on the planet “Back in stride again” (Frankie Beverly and Maze 1988). No sooner said than done. Jason Worilds brings the first sack of the game. James Harrison who? Yeah, I said it!
No. 5 Antonio Brown is back. Now “Old Money”, he will be the senior leader for the receivers. He – Must – Stay – Healthy!
No. 6 Jarvis Jones is wearing the right number…95 cause he’s clearly the second coming of Greg Lloyd. Oh just saying his name brings pain!!! (I bet ya Greg Lloyd would make the boys pull them pants up!)
No. 7 I beg your pardon. 1st quarter—5:12 on the clock, 4th and inches—Troy being Troy penetrates and stops K.C. in the backfield for a loss. I told ya this would be blow by blow. Fun huh?
No. 8 I can go to war with Dwyer and Redmond. No problem.
No. 9 Big Ben to Dwyer for the first T.D. Now you see why you can’t make Ben stay in the pocket. He’s dangerous on the run!
No. 10 This just in…8 minutes on the clock in the second quarter and Kansas City just showed up! Yawn!
EXTRA POINT…I leave you with this. Troy Polamalo is back baby and Cortez Allen is with him. Missed Kick, do over…Steelers lose again.
~ SEE YA NEXT WEEK ~
09: During all the hub-bub over the Division leading Pirates and the coming of your Pittsburgh Steelers, you seem to have forgotten that the Pitt Panthers open their season Saturday, Sept. 2, against the still powerful Florida State Seminoles. Pay attention people…that’s no day at the beach—get it? Florida…beach…water…no day at the beach…alright, forget you then!
:08 Speaking of the Pirates, and I was, they’re holding tight one game up in the Division. It’ll go back and forth till it’s over. Division winner or wild card, mission accomplished.
:07 Geno Smith is not the answer for the Jets, Mark Sanchez is not the answer for the Jets. The answer for the Jets is getting rid of head coach Rex Ryan. There!
:06 Wanna be a member of the fabulous Allure Models? Tryouts are underway for a new season. Call the Champions and ask for “Chanel.” She’ll sign you up. Serious inquires please!
:05 I don’t know why ya’ll actin’ like “The Savoy” didn’t get spanked…and the score didn’t tell the real story. Oh, oh, ya’ll fraid Chuck and John won’t let you back in huh? C’mon man!
:04 High school football is on. Let’s go support our kids, on and off the field. EDUCATION…ATHLETICS…OPPORTUNITY. In that order.
:03 New Locker Room folks, yep you haters. I still got ’em reading this stuff…I mean this valuable information. Heck, I’ve even got fan mail…six so far, so shut up! (But don’t get it twisted. I am still up over 550 plus hits a week…now shut up again). Anyway, here they are: My old hoop partner, Big Al Kieser and, aka Al & Val. And new to the show direct from the bar stool at The Savoy while she turned “50” Sonya Ford…you’re now “In the Locker Room.”
:02 No Harlem Nights this month. See ya for the season finale with Roland Ford, Friday Sept. 27.
:01 Movie Review…No jokes here. The Butler is all you heard it is and more. Oprah is outstanding. Oscar worthy. Here it is…5 basketballs. Yeah, I know. First time ever!
:00 “Tennis Everyone”—Champions and the Highland Park Tennis Club proudly present The 38th Annual Joint Venture Mixed Doubles Celebrity Tennis Tournament coming Labor Day, Monday, Sept. 2, 12 noon to 6 p.m. Any and all mixed doubles welcome. $10 entry fee. First, 2nd and 3rd place trophies. Directors Donna Bey and Jim Quigley. Call 412-628-4856.
~GAME OVER ~
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