Johnny Depp, left, as Tonto, a spirit warrior on a personal quest, joins forces in a fight for justice with Armie Hammer, as John Reid, a lawman who has become a masked avenger, The Lone Ranger, in the movie, “The Lone Ranger.” The film opened nationwide on July 3. (AP Photo/Disney/Bruckheimer Films, Peter Mountain, File)
by Bill Neal
:10 I have never, never, never – ever started off with a movie review, but lord knows this is worth it. For all you real old school cats, I mean Cisco Kid, The Rifleman, Cheyenne and Wyatt Earp old school cats. Do – Not – Go – See – The – Lone – Ranger! It is immediately one of the top ten worst movies of all time. I am talking TERR – I – BLE. Clayton Moore and the real Tonto are not just turning over in their graves, they’re thinking about making a comeback. Trust me. They could do no worse dead or alive. I give it no basketballs . . . matter of fact, I give it minus 5 basketballs!!!
COURIER SPORTS COLUMNISTS BILL NEAL & AUBREY BRUCE
:09 I don’t say this as much as I should, but I’ll tell ya again. My partner in sports Aubrey Bruce sure can write. I mean, he’s good. Me, I get lucky every now and then. But “Bruce” man he’s got skills. (Just look over to your left you knucklehead).
In this Jan. 25, 2013, file photo, Los Angeles Lakers center Dwight Howard dunks during the first half of their NBA basketball game against the Utah Jazz, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill, File)
:08 What do these people all have in common? Dwight Howard, Gov. George Wallace, Mike “McCool” Booker, Hitler, Lee Harvey Oswald, my dad and any current L.A. Laker hater? You’re all gone and already forgotten – see ya – bye bye – so long – don’t call us, we’ll call you – don’t let the door hit ya . . . where the good Lord xxxx! The Lakers will rise again. “Don’t nobody give us our guns and tell us to ride!”
ANDREW MCCUTCHEN (AP File Photo)
:07 People come on. Be serious. You don’t expect the Pirates to win every game do ya? And they will slide a little. But the objective is to make the playoffs. Winning the Division is icing on the cake. Finishing the season with the best record in baseball is the cake!
SETH JONES (AP File Photo)
:06 Seth Jones, the son of former NBA star “Popeye” Jones, was selected the #4 overall player in the NHL draft, making him the first Black to go in the top five. And now for me and the other ka-zillion Brothas out there that’s all you know about hockey . . . oh shut-up. It is so. You didn’t even know he was on the planet.
:05 If you wanna put a stop to NFL players being arrested, just put in the One Time you’re arrested and you’re out of the league rule and watch the numbers come down. This stuff is not complicated people. Set the rules and follow them. That’s all.
In this photo taken Sunday, July 7, 2013, the Wimbledon Men’s singles tennis champion Andy Murray of Britain, left, and the Women’s singles tennis champion Marion Bartoli of France pose with their trophies during the Champions’ Dinner at a hotel in London. (AP Photo/AELTC, Bob Martin)
:04 Andy Murray won Wimbleton becoming the first Englishman to do so in 77 years. Now aren’t all you Westinghouse Bulldog graduates so excited you can just scream!?
:03 Three – 3 – Tre – 1 – 2 – 3 weeks till Steeler camp. Yea I know!
:02 So the word is out and now you’re calling in like crazy cause you know it’s the best show and best deal in town. The Armon Gilliam Memorial “Hard Work” Basketball Camp for Boys and Girls 8-15 years coming up Saturday and Sunday, August 3rd and 4th at the amazing Penn Hills YMCA * 9:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. each day * complete superior coaching and supervision * free camp t-shirt * parents welcome to stay * lunch provided each day * skills & drills * games played * certificate for completing camp * only 37 more spots available. Call the Champions at (412) 628-4856 right away to register your future star * make sure they know we call it “Hard Work” for a reason . . . This is gonna hurt! But in a good way.
:01Harlem Nights . . . The White Par-tay coming up Thursday, July 25th. Forget them other white parties. This is the one, and you know it. Starring the legend Sly Jock * honoring the Legend/Legend Brotha Matt * cash bar * cash kitchen * free parking * 50/50 * quality vendors * And presenting the #1 men’s group in Pittsburgh . . . Mad Dad’s Inc.
:00 See ya in the paper next week.
~ GAME OVER ~