Inside Conditions… Ain’t no fun when the rabbit got the gun

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Right now at this very moment, it is 7:15 a.m. on May 28, the day after Memorial Day. During the previous 24 hours, I have lost and found my wallet, had holds put on and removed from all of my credit and debit cards, ate too much and by the way, my computer crashed.

I would like to wish myself a happy, happy, Memorial Day. See boys and girls, I lost and found my wallet, now ain’t that “a you know what.” I remember; folks please don’t become aggravated with my constant referral to the word “remember” because now at age 60 that is a very, very important word to me.

There are many folks that are now whining about the Pittsburgh Pirates being 11 games over .500. Their perverted logic points out that during the past two seasons the play of the Pirates has been “volcanic” prior to the All-Star break but has fizzled like a car full of damp illegal firecrackers after baseballs annual showcase.

Right now there is a serious dogfight in the National League Central division with a mere 2.5 games separating the first place St. Louis Cardinals from the third place Pirates. All of the Pirates loyal fans have been pining just for the team to finish above the .500 mark but “yinz” need to dig just a little deeper in regards to the Pirates history because they have not always worn the label of “lovable” losers.

According to MLB.com “the Pittsburgh Pirates have completed 126 seasons in Major League Baseball since joining the National League in 1887. Through 2012, they have played 19,339 regular season games, winning 9,767 and losing 9,572, for a winning percentage of .505.”

There have been many seasons that the Pirates have finished far above the breakeven point.  I “remember” (and I am old enough to) Mr. Mac from Forbes Field. Mac as he was affectionately known was the older Black man who issued the work permits for all of the young people to get summer jobs at Forbes Field as “concessionaires.”

He was old and salty and did not seem to like anyone. The only time that I ever recalled seeing him smile was when we turned in loot and went to grab more food to sell to the Pirates faithful. I vividly “remember” one time that he was staring at the money so hard I thought he was having a seizure; no this temporary loss of focus was more like “semi-orgasmic.”

I would swear that this “cat” had “dolls” made from dollar bills at home waiting to greet him do you know what I mean?

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