(NNPA)—I have dated my boyfriend for eight years. He now wants us to move in together. Three months ago, he lost his job. He says he wants to marry me, but he feels we need to live together first. Then, he says, in about five or six years we can get married.
He is being evicted due to nonpayment of his rent. Everyone seems to be telling me not to allow him to move in with me. They claim he is only looking for a place to live—as he could have married me long before now.
On the other hand, people are telling me that living together will let me see the true person I will be marrying.
Gwendolyn, what do you think?—Sarah
I don’t understand how you can have doubt about him—or to question the wonderful advice from others. Let me tell you this: I do not believe you should allow your boyfriend to move in with you. I will tell you why: Eight years of giving your love and affection to this man is enough. You know…enough is enough. Single women are always getting hurt, but think about it: We ask for it.
Sarah, living together will not let you see the true person you are marrying. A man can pretend real good, but once he makes that commitment of saying “I do,” then and only then you will see whether he is—a monster or a man.
(Got a problem, email Gwen at: firstname.lastname@example.org or write to her at P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066. To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope. Visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com.)