(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn: I am tired of my marriage after being in it for 16 years. My husband is big on family. Every holiday he tells me I need to be with him. This is the problem: My husband has nine siblings. I am an only child.
Last year, I told him on holidays such as Thanksgiving and Mother’s Day, I need to be with my sick mother. His mother has enough children to be with her while my mother spends her holidays alone. Also, I need to take my children with me because my mom has not seen them in years. I explained to my husband that sending pictures is not the same as actually going to visit her.
Gwendolyn, please give me your opinion.—Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth: I so much admire you for realizing your predicament and for taking a stand. A friend of mine had that same problem in her marriage. I was proud to know she did not put her mother-in-law before her own mother. It appears to be quite common. Too many women make the mistake of always being with their husband’s family. Often this is done to ‘keep up with their man’ by charming up to his mom.
I hope other women realize they only have ‘one’ mother. When she is gone, the world will be a different place. So, go ahead Elizabeth and visit your mother and take the children with you.
Some men have no feelings whatsoever when it comes to the needs of their spouse. We women need to stop letting men treat us as puppies. If they say dog, we say “bow wow” to their every command.
Elizabeth, think about it. Sure your husband is “big on family”—his family.
(Got a problem, email Gwen at: firstname.lastname@example.org or write to her at P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, NC 27605-0066. To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope .Visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com.)