Three years ago my son lost his job. I was dating an incredible man who left me when my son moved back home. I do believe he was getting ready to propose marriage to me. Well, the next year I met another incredible man, but when he discovered I had an adult son living with me, he showed no interested. Since then, I have met eight desirable men within the last 2 ½ years.
Gwendolyn, my son sits around the house watching television. What’s wrong with him? What can I do? This is keeping me from getting married. I can’t put him out. A mother cannot decide between a man (her future husband) and her son.—Annette
Yes, she can. The problem seems to be you have not given your son the basics for learning to survive. Your son is depressed and that can be understood. I would advise you to seek counseling for him, but if you choose counseling, remember the best counseling is a mother showing her love.
Let me tell you this: Men use the fear of a woman with children as an excuse not to build a relationship. When a man falls in love with a woman regardless of the number of children she has, he doesn’t leave. Your son is not the only person with a problem. You are too hung up on referring to every man as incredible. You don’t know their character. Stop getting yourself emotionally hurt. Coming on to a man too strong is a turn-off. You have not faced the real factor. Think about it. Those men didn’t leave because of your son they left because of you.
(Got a problem, email Gwen at: firstname.lastname@example.org or write to her at P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066. To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.)