(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn: I am one year away from receiving my law degree, but my husband won’t help. I was in my first year of law school when we met. Six months after we met I got pregnant. Getting through the second and third year of school was extremely difficult, but I made it.
Three months ago at a party, given by my husband’s co-worker, someone asked my husband were we getting a divorce once I am awarded my law degree. He was stunned and I was double-stunned. About two months after the party, I started noticing a change in my husband, a change that was not for the better. Shortly after that he told me he was leaving. He said he refused to pay the bills while I gained higher education. When we met, he was unemployed. A friend of mine gave him a job as a truck driver. My parents want me to return home. They will help financially.—Ruth
Dear Ruth: I suggest you pack up your belongings and return. Whatever you do, don’t stop your schooling. You have gone too far to quit. Let me tell you this: To be a truck driver was once considered a position of value and high respect. Now with the GPS system, a lot of knowledge is no longer a criterion. However, one cannot overlook the fact that new model trucks are digital and requires learning. But whatever your husband has to obtain, he feels it does not and will not equal to the status of a law degree.
Ruth, I feel you created your own problem. A female law student usually takes interest in a man of the same or similar status. Men will marry out of their status if the female is young and pretty. They make it work because of their confusion of lust and love. You have fallen into the pit of horror as many women. Because of the ratio between men and women, you failed to analyze your career goals compared to his. Yes, the margin for available men is slim. You have a child and if your marriage fails, you will have an income to provide for your child. Next time don’t feel so lonely until all you can think is—it’s a man.
(Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 [to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope] or email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org and visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com.)