:10 For the most part half of you think I don’t know what I am talking about most of the time and the other half of you…those who really know me, know that I don’t know what I am talking about. But I know this. “Tiger” is back and I told you he would be! Now you haters…please shut up! Yo Tiger, can a brother get your old phone book? I am just saying.
:09 Quick movie review. Do yourself a favor and go see “21 Jump Street.” Fun – nee! Now it’s stupid funny of course but it’s funny and wild. Not for the kids to be sure. I give it three basketballs. I would have only given it two basketballs but “Ice Cube” is in the movie and he’s friends with Doctor Dre and…well…you know I ain’t trying to get “Dr Dre” mad at me.
:08 Speaking of movies…yes I was, a second ago…If you people would please stay focused! Hey fellas when’s the last time you watched the Magnificent Seven? Still the No. 1 cowboy movie of all time, but here’s a few questions I know you can’t answer:
No. 1 Name the original Magnificent Seven: (Their real names, you knucklehead) No. 2 What year was the movie made? No. 3. Who played the bad guy? No. 4. For extra points, can you still hum the song? (You know you used to be able to.)
Now for you real cowboys that think you can answer these questions correctly the first person that calls me…that’s right I said calls me! And hums the theme song…will get four free tickets to the next Champions Old School First Friday Par-Tay—Friday April 6 starring The Flow Band and D.J. Mean Gee and the city’s first swimsuit show of the summer (That ought to get you humming)—and if you hum the song right I’ll throw in two extra tickets. Hit me up at 412-628-4856. If I don’t pick up, start humming anyway.
:07 Don’t look now Boys & Girls but Andrew Bynum is quickly becoming the 2nd best center in the NBA behind Dwight “Superman” Howard.
:06 For those of you that want to follow Fred Crawford over the cliff with the Miami Heat, be my guest but I am telling you the Bulls don’t care about-um. The Bulls win the East after the Heat fight through the likes of the Celtics, Magic and Hawks and they will play my Lakers when all is said and done for the title. Take it to the bank!!
:05 War!!! What is it good for??? Nothin!!! I am just saying. The world needs to find a better way!
:04 The Pittsburgh Pirates start their season in a few weeks…yeaaaa!
:03 No I am not done. Mom, Dad, take the steps you need to get your son and his friends moving in the right direction for success. No. 1. Pull the pants up and dress as well as you can when you can. No 2. Stop smoking, drinking or snorting on something. (Curtis Mayfield…Stone Junkie 1972).
No. 3. For goodness sake if you don’t do anything else can you please teach your young men to R-E-S-P-E-C-T Women…all the time…yeah dad, that means you too.
:02 The “Volley with the Starrs” Volleyball Tournament was a smash hit. Eight teams and a hundred plus people showed up at the Penn Hills YMCA to see the United Rays Corvette Club beat Champion Enterprises in the final…What? Wait hold on a minute…Say again! Yeah I know, but they get the win anyway. Ok, ok, ok but just listen. I know they didn’t have six women like they should have and I know they didn’t have a teenager like they were supposed to but the rules don’t apply when you have real pretty cars…Say what??? Oh will you please shut up and give them the damn trophies. (But yes there will be blood next year…I promise!!!)
:01 At The Buzzer: This may be the biggest and best First Friday Old School Par-Tay ever…ever…ever, ever, ever!!! Here’s the deal. Get Ready For Summer Swimsuit Fashion Show (That’s Right I said it!) The Flow Band (Yeah Mon!)—The Pittsburgh United Rays Corvette Club and their cars)—D.J. MEAN Gee out of Washington P.A.—J.T.’s Award Winning Soul Food *Cash Kitchen and *Free Parking *50/50 Raffle *The Fabulous Diamond Models—Vendors with “Good Stuff” and Prizes and Surprises—All this for only a $10 Donation—And yes there will be Eating, Drinking and Dancing including The Corvette Club Soul Train Dance Line—And You Can Bet Your Last Money It’s Gonna Be A Stone Blast Honey!!
:00 Eddie Jefferies, the original “Rankin Gangster” is back! T.J. McConnell gone, Ron Everhart gone, “Big Play” Willie Gay gone …next thing you’re gonna tell me is Hines Ward ain’t coming back…what? C’mon Man! Finally a tip of the Stetson to boxing legend Bert Sugar…No sound was ever sweeter.
~ Game Over ~