I am 52 years old and I stay depressed all the time. This is the problem: I become disgusted when I break-up with a woman. I don’t know what is wrong with me. The last relationship I had lasted six months. Before that the relationship I had lasted two years and before that—well, I don’t remember. All I know is that while my friends were getting married, I was breaking up.
I am getting older and desperately need to get married. I want happiness like others who tie that knot. For the past five years I have made many marriage proposals. They all turned me down.
Gwendolyn, what can I do to be happy and how can I get rid of the depression I often have?—Jim
You can start by stopping the search. You say that you need to get married. Let me tell you this: All a person needs to do is eat, sleep and pay taxes. Other issues do not make one happy or sad. The joy of your life is up to you. (Read “Waiting and Dating: A Sensible Guide to a Fulfilling Love Relationship” by Dr. Myles Munroe.) Another thing Jim: Who said every man who ties the knot is happy? I feel you refer to “tying the knot” as when she puts a ring on your finger in marriage. As soon as you realize everyday is not going to be smooth regardless of your status, you will find inner peace. And what’s with this, “the past five years” you made proposals? What were you doing years prior to that? Don’t answer. I know. You were having a good time like men do. Now you want to marry at 52. Women your age are busy in a career and those younger don’t want you. Times have changed. You have the wrong idea of marriage—it means love and understanding. Talk to some men and they will tell you that instead of a ring around their finger, they got a rope tied—around their neck.
(Got a problem? Don’t solve it alone. Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 (To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope) or e-mail her at: gwenbaines@ hotmail.com and visit her website at: http://www.gwenbaines.com.)