Remember that song? It was by Da Bulldogs formerly ED O.G and Da Bulldogs. I always liked the hook “be a father to your child” and the sweet saxophone. The song came to my mind recently when I was watching the news and I saw a young man arrested for murder. He was 16 years of age and living with his grandparents. When I see stories like that I always wonder, where is the father? So often you only see a teary eyed mother.
I have such fond memories of my father. I learned so much from him, how to paint a room, put together porch furniture, read a map and how to ride a bike. I think the things that I have learned from my dad have driven my independence. I feel if I can do something why ask someone else. My father was funny and made me laugh. I was 30 when he died so I was not deprived of a childhood without a father.
I decided to look up the lyrics of the song and I hope these lyrics will help at least one man be a better father to his child. The words to the song were relevant when the song was released in 1991 and even more so now. Here is a portion of the lyrics:
You see, I hate when a brother makes a child and then denies it.
Thinking that money is the answer so he buys it.
A whole bunch of gifts and a lot of presents.
It’s not the presents, it’s your presence and essence.
Of being there and showing the baby that you care.
Stop sittin’ like a chair and having your baby wonder where you are.
Or who you are—fool, you are his daddy.
Don’t act like you ain’t cause that really makes me mad, G.
To see a mother and a baby suffer.
I’ve had enough of brothers who don’t love the
fact that a baby brings joy into your life.
You could still be called daddy if the mother’s not your wife.
Don’t be scared, be prepared ‘cause love is gonna getcha.
It will always be your child even if she ain’t witcha.
So don’t front on your child when it’s your own
‘Cause if you front now, then you’ll regret it when it’s grown.
Be a father to your child
Put yourself in his position and see what you’re done.
But just keep in mind that you’re somebody’s son
How would you like it if your father was a stranger
And then tried to come into your life and tried to change.
The way your mother raised ya—now, wouldn’t that amaze ya?
To be or not to be, that is the question.
When you’re wrong, you’re wrong, it’s time to make a correction.
Harassin’ the mother for being with another man.
But if the brother man can do it better than you can,
let him. Don’t sweat him, dude.
Let him do the job that you couldn’t do.
You’re claimin’ you was there, but not when she needed you.
And now you wanna come around for a day or two?
It’s never too late to correct your mistake.
So get yourself together for your child’s sake.
And be a father to your child.
(E-mail the columnist at firstname.lastname@example.org.)