“LOVE CONQUERS ALL”—at least that is what we say. Our actions seem to sing a different tune as we pursue and engage in relationships. Our actions suggest that MONEY CONQUERS ALL. It’s been documented that the lack of and/or misuse of money is the primary reason married couples divorce. In fact, 80 percent of those whom divorce cite financial problems as the leading cause of the marital demise. Individuals whom pledged to love, honor, and obey, for better or worse, through sickness and good health, for Richer or Poorer until death do them part are divorcing one another because they can’t reconcile their differences as it relates to money. “Love conquers all except for money woes” may be a more fitting phrase for millions of people. Perhaps the reason that financial issues are the primary reason for divorce is because many relationships are developed with money being the focal point of whether or not potential for a relationship exist.
We all say we want someone to love me for me. However when it’s time to evaluate the other person, we wonder what does he or she bring to the table—financially speaking. We cannot ignore the importance and relevance money plays in a relationship. I simply argue that a relationship based on a person’s earning potential (finances) will bounce because of “insufficient love”. How else can we explain the breakup of high-profile celebrities? It’s hard to imagine any high earning celebrities citing financial problems being the primary cause of their breakup.
Women are attracted to men with power, prestige, influence and money. It is her nature to want a man to protect her, provide for her, and care for her every need. In return her nature is to console him in a very comforting way and to be his helpmate. You cannot fault a woman for responding to her natural inclinations. The problem however lies in the fact that many women want to engage in a relationship after the man has attained the status of power, prestige, influence and money. There is no solid foundation for a long-term romance when relationships are contingent upon a person fitting a particular status. For when this type of situation exists, men are wondering in the back of their minds what famed rap artist 50 cents voiced loudly in his song titled “21 questions”. “Girl, it’s easy to love me now. Would you love me if I were down and out, would you still have love for me?” Ladies, as it is in your nature to console a man and to be his helpmate. There’s nothing more comforting to a man than for him to know that you are truly down for him (will be there for him) during the good and the bad times.
Most men take pride in having the ability to provide for and protect his family. In generations before us men worked and woman took care of the home. When you consider that only death separated many of our grandparents and great grandparents, you have to reason that this must have been a platform that worked. Time has changed. Today we have women working. Many women hold key positions in their career field. In some cases, women are the primary income earners and/or only income earner. This has caused a role reversal in many relationships. We have woman serving as the provider. Some men are intimidated by this reality, while other men jump at the opportunity of having the woman financially support him. As men our nature is to provide for and protect our women. Men tend to falsely limit the word “provide” as only providing for a woman financially. However as men, we are to provide for their emotional, spiritual, physical and financial needs. Even when a woman is the breadwinner, she wants to know that her man will protect her and provide for her emotional, spiritual, physical and financial needs. This helps her to feel secure. A woman who feels secure in her relationship and is in love will fulfill her role as the helpmate even when the money is low.
Finance plays a major role in all relationships. There is an old adage that states, “Romance without finance is a nuisance.” I think that there is truth to that statement. I also think that romance based on finance is void of real love, respect, and honor for a person.
(Damon is the owner of ACE Financial. He can be reached at 412-856-1183 or visit his website at www.allcreditexperts.com.)