He thinks you’re hot.
That man has been chasing after you for weeks now, calling you at all hours, texting you, asking you for pictures and sending you— OooWhee—photos of him. He says he’s been looking for his queen and you’re it.
He talks a good talk. He thinks you’re hot.
You think you’re in love.
But hold up a minute. Is he for real? Can this last? Think about it, then read “Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man?” by Shanae Hall with Rhonda Frost.
So you went on a date with Mr. Could-Be-Right. Two nice evenings, two romantic dinners and, against your better judgment, you took things to the next level. Now he says he “ain’t feeling you” and that’s that.
What happened? Don’t love, honesty, and commitment even exist any more?
Hall and Frost say yes, but women need to take steps to get them. First, know your value and expect a “particular level of treatment” from everyone, male or female. Secondly, don’t let your independence interfere with letting a man be a man.
But that doesn’t mean you should give up the goodies when a man asks. Women “tend to confuse sex with love,” say the authors, but “they are not the same thing.” Be sure of what you truly want and keep on moving if you’re looking for more than just bed time. Make him wait awhile, but understand that total withholding is a sure way to drive him to another woman’s arms.
And on that note, Hall and Frost have this to say: don’t date a married man. If you do, don’t think he’s “your man,” because he’s not. If you’re married to a cheater, don’t be mad at The Other Woman, be mad at the “goat roach” who’s straying. Understand that “it takes two people to have a great relationship, and two people to destroy it.”
Don’t allow double-standards in dating. Pay attention to the Red Flags and confusing messages. Don’t move too fast and don’t introduce your children to a man too soon. Write down what you want in a life-mate. Understand your own baggage, be willing to take an examining step back, and when a man says something about your relationship—listen to him.
Like most dating books, “Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man?” is filled with the kind of advice that readers will want to cautiously tailor to their own needs. Not everything here is applicable.
Unlike most dating books, though, this one is written to target women of all stages in life. Author Rhonda Frost is Shanae Hall’s mother, so this book is written from several been-there-done-that angles, which is refreshing.
(“Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man?” by Shanae Hall with Rhonda Frost, c.2010, Farrah Gray Publishing, $14.95/$18.95, 262 pages.)