(NNPA)—Anger can be caused by external events, for instance you could get angry about the causes of the country’s long-term economic woes; you may be angry about your finances and employment picture.
I have reached a state of grace and peacefulness. I was being told I made things look easy. But, everyone who’s had success knows that it looks easy because a tremendous amount of time and effort has gone into making it look that way.
Easy is simple and simple is easy when you find balance and harmony in your mind and heart. I don’t want it to sound like my journey to this place was without challenges. That’s not the case at all. But, I am in awe of how fluid my life became when I realized that I wasn’t in control of anything outside of me. It’s a beautiful place to inhabit.
Anger is a normal, usually healthy emotion. But, when it turns destructive it can affect the very quality of our lives. Fits of angry display that he needs medical intervention; I was struck at the thought of how ill-equipped we are sometimes to deal with this particularly difficult emotion.
Most of us have had days when we have given in to our angry feelings and along with the raised voices we can actually feel ourselves becoming hysterical. Stress coupled with anger can insidiously eat away at our professional productivity and personal happiness.
Managing or trying to control such feelings of stress and rage does not resolve the problem that caused it in the first place. The underlying negative feelings erupt frequently at the least provocation turning you into an emotional wreck.
What you must understand is that you have to reduce the angry feelings by resolving the underlying issues rather than mastering any techniques to keep them under check.
Keep them at bay. Besides, there are ways to keep those angry emotions at bay. Simple relaxation tools like deep breathing, soothing music can help calm you down.
Emotionally healthy people are comfortable with their feelings of anger and rage and know them for what they are. Depending on the situation they are able to change their responses.
Once they have expressed their anger it does not return. Such people are genuinely able to forgive because that old anger is forgotten. If you encounter a familiar situation, which you know will annoy you, do not let it smother you.
Consciously making an attempt to relax and calm down, and telling yourself to take it easy helps diffuse the situation to an extent. Yoga and meditation can also help you relax your muscles and make you feel calmer.
Sometimes the environment or the surrounding you are working in may cause you irritation. Problems and responsibilities at work can make you feel trapped from which you see no way out. Go easy on yourself! Make sure you have some personal time and space specially on stressful days.
Accept that difficult emotions like anger and rage are natural and part of everyday life. Do not avoid them…that will give you only a temporary respite.
If you avoid such feelings long enough they will overwhelm you at some stage in your life. Learn to deal with them constructively. Simply put, it means changing the way you think. Angry people can be illogical, try replacing that with rational thought.
The minute you begin to justify your anger, you will most likely alienate and perhaps humiliate people who might otherwise be ready to help you with the problem that had been bothering you.
Remind yourself constantly that getting angry will not solve any problems; rather it will only aggravate the situation and make you feel like a heel when you have cooled down. This is not to deny that sometimes your anger can indeed be caused by real and inescapable problems.
To resolve any deep-rooted issues, you must accept your inner feelings and fears. It is not wrong to get angry, even insanely so, it’s unhealthy to block it and refuse to confront the cause. Find the source, express it as appropriate, and see how negative feelings vanish.
This is not an easy task, however it is better than a lifelong struggle to manage and control difficult emotions.
Remember, though you cannot completely “do away” with anger, what you are experiencing is a little rough weather in the joy ride called Life!
(Dr. Farrah Gray can be reached via e-mail at email@example.com or go to www.drfarrahgray.com.)