I am 34-years-old and I have a problem. I have had this same problem since my teen years. I am desperate to find a solution.
When I was 17, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me for someone else. I was upset and told her that I was going to kill her. We made up and became friends, but Gwendolyn, I thought about it later and decided to take revenge. I went over to her house around 3 a.m. and set the house on fire—and also punctured the tires on her father’s car, her mother’s car and her brother’s car.
I was arrested and had to serve time. Then, would you believe it—another girlfriend dumped me and I told her that I was going to kill her. She called the police and I was, again, arrested and served time. Yes, I am now in my 30’s and I am serving time and due to get out within the next six months.
Gwendolyn, how can I overcome this anger? I am tired of being behind bars. What’s wrong with me?— Andrew
You have a problem of not accepting rejection. This is a serious thing. Men and women attend popular classes of Anger Management. You may need to consider counseling as well. However, when a person like yourself is quick to state, “I will kill you”—think about it, no woman will spend time with a man of that character. It does not matter if you would have gone through with the murder, it is the fact you made the threat.
No man has the right to insist that a woman love him. That makes no sense whatsoever. Snap out of it. Women experience rejection 24/7. This problem could possibly stem from your mother. Too many mothers make their son think he is all of that—and a bag of chips. Think about it. You are not momma’s little boy anymore. Grow up and learn to take the hurt and take the pain of being rejected.—Sorry, but that’s life.
(Got a problem? Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 or e-mail her at: firstname.lastname@example.org or visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com.)