I have been married for 16 years. They say the first five years are the hardest. However, my entire 16 years have been hard. When my wife told me she was pregnant, I immediately married her. This is the problem: Two months after we were married I came home and she was talking to a man on the phone.
We have two children. The thing that hurts me the most is that she cheated on me with my cousin. At first she denied it, but after about 10 years, she said it was true. Gwendolyn, I love her and when she admitted to sleeping with my cousin, I felt empty inside. She says that no other man can financially satisfy her. What should I do?—Benjamin
Because she started cheating from the beginning of your marriage leads me to think the man calling was actually the father of her first child — and maybe the second child.
Now, oh wow! Regarding your wife. Benjamin, she does not love you and probably never did. Let me tell you this: As soon as she finds another man who can financially “satisfy” her, she is gone. When a wife cheats with her husband’s best friend, it is horrible. But, when a wife cheats with her husband’s cousin, I won’t even mention what that is. After all, the newspapers wouldn’t print. Benjamin, do not allow this woman to consume the best of your youthful years. Some hurt cannot be erased. Her adultery (especially with your cousin) will forever remain beyond repair. Therefore, leave her. Provide for the children, if they are young, but move on. There is nothing wrong with being in love. But, think about it. Love is supposed to be of joy and happiness and not—pain.
(Find out what married women don’t want single women to know. Read Gwen’s New Orange Shoes: The Turbulence and Triumphs of a Single Woman. To order go to: www.gwenbaines.com. Got a problem? Write to her at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 (to receive a reply send a stamped self-addressed envelope) or e-mail her at: firstname.lastname@example.org.)