Dear Gwendolyn: I read your column all the time and now I need your advice. I have been going with my girlfriend for 12 years. We have four children. Five years ago I was sent to prison and I have nine more years to serve.
This is the problem: Before beginning to serve my sentence, my girlfriend told me that she loved me and would remain faithful to me.
Recently, I have been worrying she might be cheating on me. I hear how sometimes women say they will wait but don’t. Should I worry about her? Or should I just call off the relationship and move on with my life—Glen
Dear Glen: The person who should be moving on is your girlfriend. Let me tell you: This is a lady who has been in your life for 12 years. Let’s do the math: If you have been incarcerated for five years then that means you had been involved with her for seven years prior to your incarceration. Is the math correct? In those seven years, you should have married this lady—this mother of your four children. Therefore, she is not your wife and whatever she does, she is still a “free” woman. Think about it. When a lady is not married, if she decides to date another, it is not considered “cheating.”
As for the stories you have heard, this is one of the biggest ever told: Men have a tendency to hold the heart of a woman while incarcerated then end the relationship once released. There are many couples who have kept the love while the man was incarcerated then after his release they had a long and happy life together as husband and wife. If this lady truly loves you, don’t lose her by being skeptical. My brother, instead of worrying about her, she should be worrying about you.
(Have a problem? Don’t solve it alone. Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com.)