BYOB. No, this is not the acronym for bring your own bottle. It stands for bring your own bag. If you bring your own bag to the grocery store you help save the environment.
Frankly, I think this is a ploy to sell more of the cloth-like bags that you should bring with you. You get to the end of the checkout and realize that you didn’t bring a bag so you buy one and the next time you forget that one, too. Try leaving them in the car. Better yet, write yourself a note and put it on the dashboard and hopefully you will remember.
In this world of bring your own bag to the grocery store, what are you doing to stay green? We already talked about this, didn’t we? I can hear you now.
The latest green tip I ran across really blew me away. The suggestion was to make your own envelopes. What? Don’t the envelope companies have that down pat? Isn’t it bad enough that we are texting and e-mailing and putting the envelope companies out of business? Now you want us to make our own.
The “get green” tip suggested we could use calendar pages, magazine pages, stray envelopes that come in your bills that you pay online and maps. What an insult. Now that everyone has a GPS the poor map has been reduced to envelope paper. Aren’t there standards for envelopes? This just seems crazy and a waste of time. You can buy perfectly good envelopes in the dollar store. If I’m going to use those unused envelopes for anything it will be a shopping list or scratch paper. You know those windows are placed strategically so when you put in your bill the address will show through correctly. Many of the envelopes are bar- coded. Let’s not mess with the bar codes.
As I’m talking about this issue at my desk my cube mate pops over and tells me that he makes his own envelopes and he will bring some in to show me. Who knew that an envelope maker was so close? He was a part of an envelope- making network and teaches others how to do it. The next day he brought in the bag of envelopes. They were unique and beautiful. He said he taught himself how to make them and they were a form of origami. With the odd shapes of some of them I guess the U.S. Post Office would have to hand cancel them.
I think making envelopes for everyday use is like making soap. Proctor and Gamble are doing a swell job so don’t get involved.
This self-serve world is putting people out of work. First there was the ATM to replace the teller, then the automated machine at the parking lot to replace the parking attendant, the self- checkout line at the grocery store to replace the clerk, automated phone systems eliminate receptionists and people in general. Convenience is nice but sometimes I want to interact with a human. We need to draw the line. One of my friends told me that her husband refuses to use the self-serve line at the grocery store. It is his own personal protest. He wants to hear those sweet words, paper or plastic.
(E-mail the columnist at firstname.lastname@example.org.)