Last year I bought a new SUV and within three months my wife had turned it into a community bus. We have two children. Our son is 12 and our daughter is 10. They are both into activities. My son plays football, basketball, baseball, soccer, and tennis. My daughter is a cheerleader and takes sewing lessons at a school of fashion design. My wife is going to enroll her into an art class tutored by a famous artist and eventually she will be enrolled in piano lessons. This is the problem: Some of their friends participate in the same activities and they are transported to and from the activities by my wife. Also, often these children come to our house afterward and are there until my wife takes them home.
Gwendolyn, I refuse to accept this any longer. I feel we are being used.—Jim
You are being used. When mothers get into this type of situation like your usual soccer moms, then the task should not be all on one parent. People have a tendency to encourage their children to meet other children whose parents have more.
Let me tell you this: It seems your children are too involved with extra activities at this time. School work should be their first priority and all these other involvements should come second, if not third. There is no way a child can achieve a high academic status with a rigid after school and weekend schedule such as theirs.
Jim, I commend the two of you for keeping your children busy. I am sure at times you become annoyed of having their schoolmates over to your house, but think about. At least when they are at home—you know where they are.
(Have a problem? Write Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, NC 27605-0066 (to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope) or e-mail her at: firstname.lastname@example.org. Got a son or grandson age 10-17? Help him to choose college not jail. Order “Decisions in the life of a growing male youth.” To order go to: www.gwenbaines.com