Dear Gwendolyn: I have been married for two years and the marriage is going badly. This is the problem: While living as a bachelor, I was a popular man. Women wanted me. However, I did eventually fall in love and married what I thought was going to be my queen and soul mate. I have tried to explain to my wife that just because I am married, does not keep me from smiling, winking and smooth talking to other ladies. I am in love with my wife. She claims that I give more attention to outside women than I give to her. Gwendolyn, I don’t need to show as much attention to her because she is my wife and she should understand that she is the one in my heart. What makes women become jealous? If she doesn’t stop her jealous ways, I want out of this marriage, and to be free again—Julius
Dear Julius: First of all, let me tell you this: There is no glory in forever floating around and being a charmer. Any wife would not appreciate her husband grinning, winking and downright flirting with other women. Give that attention at home. You are no longer in the bachelor world, and if you were, hold the smiles because an upstanding woman would not be flattered by your personality. Work on changing your ways.
You don’t mistreat your car, so don’t mistreat your wife. Think about it. How can a woman be assured that her husband loves her when he shows more attention to women of the street? I am not suggesting that you be unkind to other women, but just stop the smooth talk and flattery. The dictionary defines winking as to shut one eye briefly as a “signal.” Save your marriage Julius. And by the way, the thought of all women wanting you was an illusion.
(Do you have a son age 10-17? Help him to choose the right path in life. Order “Decisions In The Life Of A Growing Male Youth” by going to website: www.gwenbaines.com. Do you have a problem, don’t solve it alone. Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C., 27605-0066 or e-mail her at: P.O. Box 1066, Raleigh, N.C., 27605-0066. To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.)